I asked my acquaintances and friends the following:
If you could say one thing, just one, to teenage girls out there, what would it be?
As an educator I find myself in the privileged position to communicate to avid listeners. I've used that privilege, among other things, to advocate for equity and the celebration of diversity, both in and out of the classroom. Unfortunately, everyday I see girls hurt by boys or other girls on account of the assumptions they make about what being a girl is or should be, and about what they need to accept and tolerate.
So, in the context of abductions, campus and off campus, mass or individualised rape, exploitation of the image of the female body, work-place harassment and so much more, I'm embarking on a quest to expand ways to convey a message to teenage girls about their worth and their rights.
During this process I've become aware of two notions which have astounded me;
1. Not many women are willing to speak about equity.
2. More strong male figures are needed.
The first notion has left me feeling a bit helpless. I would have thought that many would have liked to speak or write so as to make it easier for girls who might go through both simple and complicated situations of injustice. About that, I was delighted to hear that Madeline Albright has a motto; "There's a special place in hell for women who don't help each other".The second idea just might be the answer I've been waiting for. I've been operating under the assumption that as a male teacher, others might believe that I lack the authority to speak about gender equity and injustice towards women. However, in the past few weeks, while listening to Madeline Albright, Malala Yousafzai and Shabana Basij-Rasikh interviews, I've become aware that we need more strong male figures advocating for gender equity. When Malala Yousafzai was asked by John Steward during a 'The Daily Show' interview, "What gave you the courage to continue?", she simply answered "My father was a great encouragement for me." At a TED sponsored event, 22-year-old Shabana Basij-Rasikh spoke about her experiences in Afghanistan and says of her father that when he learned that the Taliban had left, his words to his daughter were, "You can go to a real school now." She speaks of a persistent father and a determined grandfather. In the coming months I will be calling students to weekly assemblies where I will reserve a few moments to talk about the constraints and pressures girls and women face today. If you, male or female have something you believe young boys and girls should hear in relation to gender equity, please post on this blog in the following manner:
State a sentence with a direct message.
State your name, occupation, country of origin and/or residence(Optional) Explain your sentence with as much depth as you'd like.
7 comments:
A parent of two boys asked how she could avoid perpetuating injust conceptions towards women in her children. I believe that the key lies in not allowing any injustice pass you by and making your children aware of them.
Recently I gave a couple of hula hoops to each of my 5th and 6th grade classes. I purposely gave them to the the girls in those classes. In one class a boy raised his hand and asked, "What about us?". So I really let him have it! I reminded him that I had previously given his class two soccer balls, that a soccer ball can keep many boys entertained at the same time, that more than half of the recess space in school is designed for boys and that two hoops hardly allow two girls to have fun at the same time. I explained that I wasn't even close to levelling the field and that he should expect the girls to get more things in the near future (such as skipping ropes and volley balls). The epilogue to this example is that I subsequently received delegations of girls at my office, not asking for more, but thanking the little they received.
If you learn of an injustice, not only towards women, talk about it with your children and explain where the injustice lies. No matter how vehement (or not) you are, your children will see the injustice and have clues for future experiences.
As a mother of a 12-year old girl, I really appreciate this initiative. I'm quite aware that Chilean schools do little to nothing to empower girls and quite often teachers -many of them female- instill on the children conceptions that rather perpetuate gender roles that are completely outdated.
Just a month ago, my daughter came home complaining that one of her female teachers explained her co-ed class what it meant to be "feminine" and how girls should behave with modesty and demeanor, as opposed to boys who -apparently- are allowed to run wild and say whatever they want. I should note that, unlike myself, my daughter does not go to a Catholic school with nuns telling us how to be "good girls" all the time, but to a secular, British-inspired and quite expensive private school.
The good thing about this episode -and I congratulate myself for that- is that having raised my child aware of gender prejudices, she picked up on the teacher's message and openly argued with her on what it means to be feminine, saying that us women do not have to fit into a pre-conceived model. Needless to say, I was extremely proud of my girl.
Strong messages from parents and teachers can make a huge difference in empowering girls. And as the author says, encouraging our girls to speak up and break with outdated gender roles is not only a task for women but also for men who can be powerful role models for our girls.
P.S. Loved Madeleine Albright's quote :)
T. S. Eliot gives us a hint of why it's important to share your experiences in The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock;
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
He talks of an experience that transforms him and wonders if would be worth it to share with others and warn them. In the end Prufrock decides that he isn't important enough. Let your message be heard; you don't know the good you might do.
Thank you Kathy. Tween girls are especially at risk; they constantly have to battle with acceptance issues and can be tempted to go with the flow in order to be included and/or participate.
To be modest and demure is not necessarily a contradiction if it means that a girl can put things into a balance. I often see girls who are the contrasting image of traditional femininity, but who cannot handle that personality style and send a message to boys that she still deserves respect.
So what would your message to teenage girls be? What would you like to tell them?
Marcelo, despues de leer tu articulo pense que esto podria interesarte. Mis alumnas y yo hicimos diferentes actividades, foros, talleres, etc para ayudar a este fabuloso programa.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIvmE4_KMNw
Mis alumnas y yo participamos en diferentes foros y talleres y organizamos muchas actividades para ayudar a la organizacion The Girl Effect. Fue increible ver una OLA de intenso movimiento en el espiritu de mis chicas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIvmE4_KMNw
Thank you Mrs. C! I will research on the initiative and add it to my resources.
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